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Name: [w][e][s]
Location: Davis, California, United States
Gender: Male
Interests: aviation!! (especially passenger aircrafts), photography, movies, shopping, music, anime, naruto, full metal alchemist, chatting, fasion, biology, chinese, japanese, europe, switzerland, finland, copenhagen, coffee, jack daniels, money, checks, credit cards, cigarettes, dunhill, starbucks, mercedes-benz, lexus, bmw, aircrafts, maybach, salvetor ferragamo, adidas, banana republic, burberry, dolce & gabbana, armani, tag heuer
Expertise: Procrastination and Morbidity. Also, I'm good at fobacizing (see previous entry for definition) ABC's. =P
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
10/11/2004
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| okay, can't stand this anymore so this entry is gonna be a lecture to some friends whom i'm gonna force to read (the relationship i'll be talking about is romance relationship unless i state otherwise).
first, relationship doesn't equal to love; love doesn't equal to relationship either. relationship equals to responsibility and commitments. do you really believe in happily ever after? there's a 50% divorce rate in the united states and 63% divorce rate in orange county. chances are you're gonna divorce in the future, too (of course, i really wish you don't because it's not only a painful experience, it's gonna drain your energy and money too). don't ever marry someone without pre-marital counseling (hetero or homo couples...doesn't matter)! anyway, like i was saying, love comes from everybody; be it your friends, your parents, grandparents, siblings...etc. stop and think about how much love they have for you. it doesn't matter if i find a significant other in my life anymore because i know my family is always gonna be there for me and love me (well, in my case, i can't be sure, but i like to believe that. if you know me, you'll know what i'm talking about). but that doesn't matter, what matters to me is what i believe. love doesn't have to come from a relationship...it really comes from everyone who cares about you (of course, you need to distinguish who REALLY cares about you and who's faking it).
secondly, romantic love can't solve shit; it would only make you more blind. you're all happy pappy during a relationship and then one day when you're dumped or you found out your partner is cheating on you or you found out your partner turned into a veggie, you get depressed...or worse, turns into depressive disorder which you probably would have to use SSRI medications to cure. right now at our age, most people want to date around and "experience" with various different people. you're bound to be hurt in college...it's inevitable. some people do pour their heart into relationships but that's rare. basically, unless you're one in a million, chances are, you're not gonna marry your current college boyfriend/girlfriend. even if you do get married, you're gonna have a 50% divorce chance, 63% in OC (it's kinda sad, but the divorce rate is higher in richer counties and cities). remember, romantic LOVE CAN'T SOLVE SHIT. it would probably hurt you more.
thirdly, it's good to put away your emotions during the time you're in college because you need to concentrate on academic aspect of your life (love can come multiple times, but you can only be in college once). weigh out which is more important to you. if love is extremely important to you and you can't live without a relationship, by all means, go for it, find your significant other now. but if your future life and how your future life would be (rich or poor), then please, concentrate on the books. i know it's extremely hard to separate your emotions and be a nerd, but trust me, it's the only way you don't get hurt. having gone through the painful experiences, i figure throwing the emotions away and concentrate on the books is better for me. and as usual, unless you're one in a million, you can do well in school, find a significant others, and not get hurt. it's true. i'm not being morbid.
walt disney and hollywood want you to believe there's happily ever after and that romantic relationship is the remedy for all pains and uneasiness. but you know what? it's not; at least right now at our age 20-24, people tend to date around to see what they want. people like me would get hurt because we pour or emotions and everything we can into the relationship and in the end, we get dumped. i'm not blaming anyone but it's a fact. going through one breakup is enough for me to stand as a spectator and wait until someone comes forward. and even if someone do come forward, it's gonna take a long time for me to put my trust in that person.
end note: don't stress so much about relationship now. when you turn 35 and look back at your college life, you'll think it's silly and that the painful experiences (relationship-related) you've gone through don't matter anymore.
P.S. my car is in the body shop. got the bill today and it's just...wayy too much. =(
P.P.S. i still care for you. the email doesn't matter that much because i still care for you. it doesn't matter how hurt i was or how depressed i was, we had something (that can't be denied) and that something is enough for me to care about you. maybe it's not time for me to show it now, but understand that i do still care about you.
P.P.P.S. i'm gonna slowly stop putting entries in xanga now. i've changed to Blogger (thanks Sharon)!...the link will be in my profile/facebook profile/myspace profile...etc. Or, if you're really REALLY interested in reading my entries, ask me and i might give it. NOW EVERYBODY CAN LEAVE A COMMENT; NO ACCOUNT NECESSARY =P!! (there are some certain people whom i don't want to give my new blog address).
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I suddenly have an urge to kill (not good). Revenge is a bitch…
I see no way out of my current situation and I hate being trapped. How in the world am I gonna face everything when I head north to Davis?! I’m scared to death but at the same time I wanna show every fucking body that I’m capable of being independent and the fact that I AM NOT WEAK! When the hell can I actually completely ignore my emotions? What else do I need to endure to not feel anymore? Do I need to suffer another death of loved ones? I want to not feel anything anymore. What does it take to achieve that goal?! I’m hurting myself badly and unnecessarily; I know it’s useless, but I can’t seem to stop hurting myself. I don’t want emotions; emotion reeks…
MEN ARE FROM MARS AND WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
My clinical psychology’s lecture notes:
- Presentation of the psychologist may change the client’s perspective.
- Men and women operate different (not only physiological differences).
- Psychologists must understand both sexes to be successful.
- Women in general tend to relate to other people on personal levels.
- Competition is usually the basis for relationship.
- Females tend to talk much regarding their life and emotions.
- Males tend to concur and based their relationships on challenge and competition.
- Women find their identities in relationship and men find theirs in accomplishments.
- Even when a man is married, he probably would miss the “pursuing” aspect in his single life (some couples are okay with open relationships).
- Women should encourage guy-guy activities (such as golfing, guy’s night out [not in strip clubs]…etc). This is generally good for relationships.
- Women have more words for their emotions. Men are interested in facts.
- Psychologists to men clients should GET TO THE POINT.
- Psychologists to men clients should throw statistics and facts at them.
- Men are solution oriented. They want to know the answers right away.
- WOMEN WANT TO BE HEARD RATHER THAN WANTING THEIR MEN TO FIX THE PROBLEMS.
- GUYS: when your girl blabbers on about how this and that is troubling her and how her day was shitty and all, please really listen to her and do reflective listening (respond properly to whatever your girl has to say, DON’T TRY TO FIX THEIR PROBLEMS! WOMEN WANT TO BE HEARD).
- GIRLS: when your man is trying to give you advice and trying to tell you how to resolve something troubling you, they don’t think you’re stupid. Men are solution oriented and they like to fix things. Just tell them upfront, “I JUST NEED YOU TO LISTEN TO ME, I NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO ME.”
- 60% of women fake their orgasms during sex…
- GUYS: this is the statistic; your girl might not even feel anything. Please don’t think that you’re “de bomb.” ASK YOUR GIRL IF YOU PLEASURED HER.
- GIRLS: if your man is not satisfying you, tell them upfront. Because, if you don’t tell them, they will do the same thing over and over again and again. In the end, you’ll be annoyed.
- COMMUNICATION IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IN A RELATIONSHIP.
- GIRLS: please tell your man what you think and how you feel directly and bluntly. GUYS DON’T GET SUBTLE HINTS. Even if you put a Tiffany rings’ ad all over the house, they’re not going to think that you want the ring. For example, tell them upfront that, THE THIRD RING IN THE SECOND SHELF TO THE RIGHT OF THE ENTRANCE IN THE TIFFANY STORE ON THE SECOND FLOOR OF VALLEYFAIR MALL IN SANTA CLARA, CALIFORNIA IS VERY PRETTY AND I WOULD LIKE IT VERY MUCH. HOWEVER!!!!!!!! Please be REASONABLE. Don’t tell your man you want a Tiffany ring when your man is making $10/hr and have to pay for his rent/mortgage…etc (not enough bling bling).
Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist and I do not have a PhD, a MS/MA, a MSW, a LCSW, or a MFT in ANY related field. This entry does not serve as a guideline or manual. The content of the entry is EXTREMELY generalized and there may be different situations. PLEASE CONSULT A REAL PSYCHOLOGIST/THERAPIST FOR ANY RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS. Thank you!
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